Why I made the decision to permanently stop working

When Lisa and I started talking about traveling after the kids graduated from high school, the discussion always included doing some sort of part-time work. First, when we thought we would travel the United States in an RV, that talk included doing seasonal work at an Amazon warehouse or being the host at a campsite. Later, I considered doing some part-time database or project management work, or even working for my then-employer part-time.

However, my thinking started changing last February. Lexie’s High School’s Girls Lacrosse team didn’t have a coach and the season was starting soon. I approached my boss about shifting my work hours by an hour a day for 10 weeks so I could coach and keep the team alive. I never expected to get the pushback that I got. From my perspective, this wasn’t something that I sought to do for my benefit, and I didn’t even consider myself a coach. I just felt I would be able to empower 20 girls to play a sport for 10 weeks that they might not be able to play otherwise, until a new coach could be found for the next year.

I reminded my boss that I had always done everything they had asked, including trips that others in the organization essentially refused to take. Yet I was told that in all their years in business they had NEVER been asked to approve something like this, and that it sounded like a second job. They wanted a complete schedule, which was reasonable, and an assurance from me that I would make myself available for any calls they wanted me to be on at that time of day. I reminded my boss that they routinely worked around my co-workers’ schedules and that the times I was asking to shift were also at the end of the East Coast day of two of my co-workers.

In the end, my boss very reluctantly approved my request, but their attitude made me realize that they didn’t really care about me. It made me question my dedication and loyalty to them and the organization when there was no reciprocity.

In addition, I had begun to get fed up with the actions of one of my co-workers. Up until this point, I had made extraordinary efforts to keep a cordial and professional relationship with them. I went well out of my way to keep them happy, even when I knew some of the things I did to maintain peace were not in the best interests of the organization. However, they already had had a very contentious relationship with my predecessor, and I had personally seen several knock-down, drag-out fights between them and my boss. I also knew that they had had a bad relationship with one of our clients, which I worked very hard to repair when I first took the job.

When I started pushing back and or asking for business justification for some of their requests, they didn’t like that and privately complained to our boss, even threatening to quit. Our boss, without ever asking for my side of the story, immediately and completely blamed me. This just reinforced my feeling that I wasn’t appreciated or even listened to. I was made to feel that everything that was happening was completely and totally my fault and it was my responsibility to fix it.

And I was gone

With that, I was gone. I no longer wanted to work for my boss and I no longer wanted to work with my co-worker. Any thoughts of working part-time for them in the future evaporated. I couldn’t leave fast enough. To make matters worse, my boss insisted that I fly to San Francisco earlier than usual for a scheduled staff meeting so that I could spend an excruciating afternoon alone with my co-worker in an attempt to resolve any conflicts we had.

Over the next several weeks, I made my final decision and gave my boss three weeks notice of my impending departure. I essentially couldn’t take another day dealing with both of them. My boss’s reaction to my notice was hostility, accusing me of abandoning the organization, which only reinforced the fact that I made the right decision. Once again, I had never been treated so badly. When my boss flew out to Denver for a transition briefing, they did not even offer to take me to lunch before their return flight, and I once again felt disrespected.

I continued to assist with keeping things running until a replacement was found. But it wasn’t until a month and a half after I finally finished that they even sent me an email thanking me for my 4 ½ years of work for them and the organization and the award-winning site I built.

Earlier than I planned

So I stopped working sooner than I had wanted, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. Financially, yes, it was a little soon, but the market was doing well and I knew we would be ok. I’ve worked for many people in multiple organizations over the years and this boss was, by far, the worst person I had ever worked for.

In some ways, it is sad that my working career had to end this way, but in others, it doesn’t make me look back. I never want to work for someone like that ever again, and I’m fortunate in that I don’t have to. Good riddance to them and on to something much more enjoyable!